Poker Test

I'm at 385 dollars, started with 24.00 and my goal is to go up to 1000.00 by end of today and 2000 by end of tomorrow.

OK, I'm down to $300.00 so now I have an even number to test out some new strategies.

Now, I'm going to try another picture over here

Thougts for the day

Final Analysis of the Presidential Election of 2008

1) Palin’s flailing needed more saying to get more than uneducated right wingers rolling

Explanation: The right wing uneducated religious conservatives just loved her, others waited for her to say something…anything that at least had some video components to her sound bites.

2) McCain echoed in pain for missing out on his fathers’ gains

Explanation: McCain basically built his career from his fathers’ reputation, otherwise the multiple plane crashes and 5th from bottom standing in college would have him flipping burgers, and he lost his last chance to add to his fathers’ gains.

3) Obama grandma joined in, celebrating the great win, side by side with her closest kin

Explanation: His grandma left to join the celebration with her daughter.

4) Biden’s skills on foreign affairs made up for his propensity to unwittingly emit despair

Explanation: His intelligence and expertise in foreign affairs and politics made up for his gaffes.

5) Just like his favorite painting, “Koerner's A Charge to Keep”, Bush gallops off from the lynch, as the looting is complete

Explanation: This is Bush’s favorite painting, and it is about a horse thief running away from a hanging.

6) Cheney is quiet as he knows; he made more than the wage his position affords

Explanation: Iraq and Halliburton, as there is an opposing reaction to every action…our deficit had its opposite effect for Cheney via Halliburton and Iraq war.

The Pros and Cons of Voting --a collaborative effort with@lankr1ta

CONS:

1. Statistically speaking your choice is insignificant (like 1 in 100+ millions... and you thought you were important???)

2. Electoral voting takes away the impact of your vote.

3. Its a waste of effort, energy and time....for just Starbuck coffee, maybe if they upgraded to frappuccino.

4. It would be better if we could just vote on the promises instead and have the computer match the candidates with our choices. (Programmers, make sure to put the "flip the coin" routine, as there may not be any matches.)

5. Hey, let's be real, we are really voting for the best rhetoric’s- government is often run as it has to- remember the universal health thing under the Clintons, did that expire?

6. It’s not "really" the candidate- the Obama or the Mccain who is running, It’s their advisers, vice presidents and interested factions, at least put these guys pictures in the paper somewhere, (and dart manufacturers excellent opportunity here). Candidates can be lovable like Rover, but the others are ringing the dinner bell.

7. You know that the winning candidate will win by more than 1 vote in your state, so mathematically your vote made no difference, did it? (McCain voters, remember you get the free coffee…shhh.)

8. The election should stop being about appeal and fashion, all the campaigning should be in the nude. Any obvious physical advantages like follicles (lack or too much) or “down there” challenged…should be creatively countered with proper positioning and such.

9. No dumb voters, as determined by a 5th graders’ test, can vote without a proof of certified policy consultant policy translator.

10. The candidates should be strapped with an electrical circuit connected to the “down there” area and lie detector gizmo for a final declaration of their promises. For the case of female candidates (cause it seems like this might give them more pleasures than pain), the electrical connection should be inside the mouth.

11. Your choice will lose or you wish had lost.

12. Your hopes and wishes will fade, only the caffeine from the Starbucks coffee will remain.



PROS:

1. It is the most civilized way to get your voice heard- not all of us can engage in bombing or protests or rallies or even unions- what will the kids say?

2. We can effect real change… really we can, and since the majority of us are on the sloppy side of appearance- greater number of voters will tilt the election toward the better idea side instead of the better looking side.

3. Our votes, especially if one is like yours truly, should help to nullify the super kooks, who vote for the super kooks and the few non-kooks that fall for the super kooks seemingly moderate positions.

4. It is our duty to be involved in the voting otherwise we should just let the present administration enact the puppeteers’ policies. We need to provide the puppeteers’ with new puppets… dammit!

5. We can complain if things go wrong- because obviously we voted for the other guy.

6. Voting is the greatest equalizer, the ballot does not know if you are black or white, male or female, gay or straight as long as your vote doesn’t tilt the election to the wrong side.

7. One can tell their children; dammit, I didn’t vote for that guy- how cool is that.

8. Your vote gives you a 50-50 chance to finally be part of a winning team- and if you wait till the results are already determined… a 100% chance of being on a Winning team....

9. Hey its fun to read about policy, and be involved in important stuff which is more entertaining than Desperate Housewives…at least the TV version, (contact me for the non-TV version @www.the_more_entertaining_versions_of_tvshows.com., must be able to subtract at least 18 yrs from the date of entry to enter the site).

10. You can vote for the guy who looks and acts like you, as that should elevate your social standing. Don’t fall for the temptation of “I finished higher in school ranking than the President”, though that might sound cool...appearance wins over education.

11. If you vote, you gain the full rights to get involved in the governing process and possibly win a book or singing contract.

12. Maybe you can sell your votes to all the candidates, and vote for the honest guy, hey, isn’t it a more profitable and character defining way?

13. You can refuse to pay taxes or support a program...that was not mentioned pre-election, by pointing out that those programs were not the ones that gave the candidate your votes, whether you voted for that candidate doesn’t matter.

14. You can, at election time, be an important person, the "voter"; the rest of the time no one gives a damn, election time is about YOU.

15. What better way to be involved in energy and fun, than in a political rally where the cute ones are not constraint by their seats!!!

16. Remember the free Starbucks coffee.

17. You can make all the technology and polls and computer stuff and high paying analyst obsolete by just writing your own name as a write in candidate... What a way to show ‘em media elites...

18. You can tell your children that you also received votes for Presidency, and your votes per money spend was way better than the elected guy, in fact the best ever. (As long as we don’t elect a President, that soon dies and is replaced by a VP who modifies math and science so anything divided by zero cannot be greater than seven.)

Top dozen reasons to leave one’s husband

You realize that he is the same person you married, just older and fatter
You realize that he was that anonymous stalker
You realize that George Clooney just separated again
Hillary is given a new off-site post in China
You realize that he sends your resume for off-site work in Middle East
Has the same cologne but he smells like your neighbor's perfume
Has the same cologne but he smells like your sister’s perfume
Has the same cologne but smells like sushi
Has the same cologne but smells like your brother’s cologne
Has the same cologne but smells like "could've wiped the ass a bit better"
You realize that the increased rate of vaseline depletion mystery is solved, it's on his butt
You realize that he was not always bow legged

And the number one reason:
Your reclamation project was only partially successful, as he now washes his hands, but follows it with that same ass digging